Last week I noticed my phone repeatedly showing messages on my 13 year old daughters face book account. When I opened it up, I was more shocked than anything. Normally she has alot of interaction with my family back home but she had reset it to hide her posts from the family. There was alot of foul language, vulgar comments, and jealousy from her friends posts. Most of it was nonsence girl stuff but the thing I noticed was their focus on people they were jealous of, why they were jealous, and people they envied the most. Call me old fashioned but I do not see how these subjects are going to help my daughter be a better person in any way.
After thinking about the situation, I sat my daughter down and told her that I was dissapointed in her responses and asked if she would like me to post them all so that my family could see them. She was very upset at the idea of her aunt being able to read them. I was not sure what the right thing to do was, so I explained to her that jealousy is a form of meaness that can overpower you if you choose to let it. I also told her that she had been blessed with positive influences and awesome people to care for her and she needs to use that as a tool instead of forgeting who she is in order to fit in a circle of friends that would be gone ten years from now, while her people would always be there. One of the biggest inflences on her is a girl that has had a rough life with few people to lean on or support her. I explained that this is her chance to be a good influence and show support to her friends in a positive light versus falling in with the crowd. Some people do not have a strong support system while others have more than they need.
I am not sure if I did the right thing, but, I am sure that my daughter deserves to have better thoughts about people than than the ones posted by her friends. If facebook is such a positive thing for our teens, then why is it so full of negative comments? Who review's posts or keeps a watch over them? I do not think I should have to go on my childs facebook account, invading their privacy, but on the other hand as a parent I feel it is my right to check up on my children from time to time. Previously I thought facebook was a good thing, but at this point I am not sure what I think.
I think it's important that parents monitor their children's social media/internet activity, so I'm going to say my hats off to you!! Far too often (even after a decade of horror stories of abductions, molestations, etc.), kids are too flippant when it comes to giving out personal information online - or worse, thinking it's not harmful because "the internet isn't real life". I think it was appropriate that you sat your daughter down and had this talk with her. I believe as she gets older, it will be easier to trust her to make the right decision after giving her the perspective of having her aunt read those messages. She will definitely think twice about future converstations AND THAT'S A GOOD THING!!
ReplyDelete