Special Snowflake Syndrome

The increase of teen narcissism seems to be more of a societal issue than a technological one. While your social media site of choice certainly encourages users to post every fleeting thought or opinion, and feeds the drive to gain more "friends," more followers, whatever, these websites only serve to make narcissism more visible. Putting the blame of narcissism on social media websites ignores the fact that these websites are a product of an individualistic society. Social media is relatively new, and the article Dr. Risser linked us focused on an increase of self-absorbed teens from the 1980s (as compared to the 1950s) that bled into the early zeros, and most likely continues today. The thirty years between the fifties and the eighties showed a significant increase in the number teenagers who agreed that they were important. That's thirty years of time before technology as we know it today was even really A Thing.
So what's the deal?

I'm going to put the blame on an indulgent society that produces spoiled children and teens. The increase in narcissistic young adults has been a long time coming. Every child is special by virtue of being upright and breathing. Everyone is good at something. Everyone is an individual, unlike any other. We all get special stars, participation ribbons/trophies, we get passed from grade to grade whether we earn it or not,  etc. My graduating class had around eight (plus or minus two) valedictorians. Besides making the commencement speeches excessive, the prestige of the award has been dampened as it no longer recognizes the best of the best. Everyone's the best. We are all of us superstars, and when we log into our social media accounts, we put our "greatness" on display.

Teens 11/29/13

Last week I noticed my phone repeatedly showing messages on my 13 year old daughters face book account. When I opened it up, I was more shocked than anything. Normally she has alot of interaction with my family back home but she had reset it to hide her posts from the family. There was alot of foul language, vulgar comments, and jealousy from her friends posts. Most of it was nonsence girl stuff but the thing I noticed was their focus on people they were jealous of, why they were jealous, and people they envied the most. Call me old fashioned but I do not see how these subjects are going to help my daughter be a better person in any way.

After thinking about the situation, I sat my daughter down and told her that I was dissapointed in her responses and asked if she would like me to post them all so that my family could see them. She was very upset at the idea of her aunt being able to read them. I was not sure what the right thing to do was, so I explained to her that jealousy is a form of meaness that can overpower you if you choose to let it. I also told her that she had been blessed with positive influences and awesome people to care for her and she needs to use that as a tool instead of forgeting who she is in order to fit in a circle of friends that would be gone ten years from now, while her people would always be there. One of the biggest inflences on her is a girl that has had a rough life with few people to lean on or support her. I explained that this is her chance to be a good influence and show support to her friends in a positive light versus falling in with the crowd. Some people do not have a strong support system while others have more than they need.

I am not sure if I did the right thing, but, I am sure that my daughter deserves to have better thoughts about people than than the ones posted by her friends. If facebook is such a positive thing for our teens, then why is it so full of negative comments? Who review's posts or keeps a watch over them? I do not think I should have to go on my childs facebook account, invading their privacy, but on the other hand as a parent I feel it is my right to check up on my children from time to time. Previously I thought facebook was a good thing, but at this point I am not sure what I think.

Hail, Caesar!!

Considering the article states that the jump in self-importance was first noted in the 1980s, I’m going to go ahead and say that social media is definitely not to blame.  The participants would have been children of the hippie generation - love children whose parents fought for personal freedom against the Man and his constrictive mold of what a productive citizen should be.  In this case, a cooperative enterprise of repression begot individual rebellion.  Most of my friends that have children have said to me at some point, “I am not going to raise my kids the way my parents raised me.”  To me, this is also indicative of a cultivation of a desperate need to set one’s offspring apart from the apparent negativism of past collectivist culture.

Research has stated that there has been a constant increase in measures of self-importance, and I do believe social media compounds this remarkable shift of ego.  Instant gratification is a strong pull, and in this way I believe it has supplanted the time it takes to refine a depth of self and has exacerbated a pre-existing condition (or heightened sense of self-importance).  Researchers also posit that schools are the main source of “positive feelings and specialness” – no doubt because of the ridiculous number of graduations children now face, No Child Left Behind, and countless other policies public education has been forced to endorse.  We must remind ourselves that schools are subject to federal ruling, which in turn is subject to public opinion or current relative attitude.

One thing I find quite interesting is with the increase in personal self-worth, there seems to be a sharp decrease in personal accountability (which just screams entitlement).  Scapegoats take the brunt of responsibility when it comes to an individual owning up to his actions that may result in negative consequences for the majority.  If a collective moral compass is a root cause of dissension, why is the next generation not taking greater liability for their individual moral compasses?  I believe that an inflated sense of self-worth is a delusion that many people get lost in so that they don’t get lost in the sea of others.  Large groups of human beings must be constructed around a social hierarchy, as one person’s self-importance alone does not a happy majority make.  Reversing this principle, a single facet of a problem (i.e. technology) should not be to blame for a multi-generational dissent into narcissism. 

Prompt Two

I do think technology aggravates the problem. Social media brings all sorts of issues regarding a teens view of them self. Gossip, rumors, and all sorts of negative conversations happen on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc. Teens can be harassed horribly online which can cause them to feel less of them selves. On the other end of it teens can also think too highly of them selves because of this new technology. They can make blogs  or videos about the things they do thinking they are being above everyone else. One person acting this way may lead to negative comments or fights to happen online.

Prompt One

I think children with certain learning disorders do need special attention in some aspects of learning. I have worked with kids in my job that are really ADHD and I know from speaking with their teachers how difficult it is to get them to do their work sometimes. Not only is it hurting their own learning experience, but often time it is disrupting the entire class. Developmental disabilities that are more serious could cause even a larger disruption of their own learning or the rest of the class. So I do think that some developmental disabilities, if bad enough, do need special attention in school.

The delusion of self importance

I was at a meeting today and one of the speaker, who was in is mid 50's, said "I am thankful for the things I do not deserve" . I don't think this is a statement that would come out of a normal twenty year olds mouth today.  There seems to be a greater sense of entitlement in today's youth.

I don't think this inflated sense of self importance can be blamed on just one thing, there are many factors that could have helped in inflating their egos including but not limited social media (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and online dating sites), participation awards, preventing kids from failing.  We keep telling kids you are important when in reality, they are no more important the anyone else. In all likelihood one person will not change the world on their own.

I can see this difference in self importance between my little sister, she just turned 21, she has grown up with social media and the other things mentioned above, when she does not get her way the world knows. We go to dinner where she wants to go, make what she wants for dinner and  make seating arrangements around where she wants to sit. When these things don't happen she sees it as a personal attack and expects an apology from whoever she feels has wronged her.

Shift from the the '50's

When discussing the shift to a more vainglorious generation, it is hard to ignore the technological advantages and social media. Various electronics and programs allow the user to customize to his/ her liking to express individual styles and personalities. The social media website, Facebook, seems to promote sense of self-worth and importance; the headline for posting a "status" includes phrase such as "What are you thinking about?" and the special emphasis on members' "selfies" emphasize the importance of the user. Tell your friends what you had for lunch or take pictures of your group of friends you saw at you High School reunion. The truth is, your friends don't care what you ate today nor do they care to see your old circle of best buds' smelly feet; but they might press the "like" button anyway just for the laugh of it. Needless to say, recent technologies and media promote the shift to current self-loving generations.

MMPI Question

Has technology made a huge impact on the youth of America? It sure has! Teens are always looking for attention, affection and in general just friends. Friends are a huge part of your high school career and if you really think about it friends are what really help us get through the tough years of being a high school kid. Why are friends so important? Well its quite simple, they provide us open ears so we can complain about our usually petty problems that shouldn't be problems in the first place, also they give us the feeling of being wanted they are always there asking to hang out and be around your presence making it seem like you are important. There is the "important" factor that comes out and is really the base of this question.

In todays world its all about social, social everything, social things that make it all about you. You always see the internet filled with bold postings about not being scared to be you or to be different, and really that's what this world needs. People not scared to go against the grain and be different act different and do different things then everybody else. Some falsely show to be different just so they can be broadcasted more, but in reality are the exact definition of trying to "fit in"....false advertisement in my eyes. Before all the social sites and technology that has taken over every single living life it was just up to your personality in the raw. Back then it was just relying on who you truly are with no cover up or social media site to hide behind making it harder to believe that you really important. My eyes everyone is important, everyone comes into your life to show you something at one point or another. Be different don't be scared because the people who come into your life are meant to and the ones that stay are the ones that make you important.

"Mainstreamed" Education

Children with autism or related diagnosis should be given the appropriate education. Sometimes this means that they should be mainstreamed if their diagnosis isn't actually all that bad. It really all matters in the diagnosis itself. If given the correct and accurate diagnosis a child with autism can be put in the same classes as everybody else but only if parents, doctors and sometimes the kids themselves feel they can handle it. Other times for kids with more severe autism need to be placed in appropriate classrooms, there is no question to that. If the child needs these slower paced classroom settings then at least have teachers and providers that can do a great job at giving a great education. From the teachers perspective they might have to make certain accommodations for autistic kids, but don't they have to make certain accommodations for non-autistic kids as well? Teachers will have it rough no matter what so that's why it has to be accurate diagnosing to not make it all that much harder for the teacher to do their job. I think with kids who are mainstreamed and have the education that most receive they could gain insight with having an autistic kid in the classroom. Hopefully giving insight will gain empathy and a better understanding of the disorder. Not everybody is the same and maybe seeing it in the natural light empathy can be gained from the experience of having an autistic kid learning along with you.